Stay here for a moment. Eyes remain closed. Listen. Breathe again. It is in this peace that our lives were and are meant to flow.
John Eldredge reminds us of this is in his powerful classic, the Sacred Romance. This book has been such a lifeblood for me in loneliness and pain, and has restored my aching heart many a time that I have unashamedly become somewhat of a 'heart' ambassador.
''Starting very early, life has taught all of us to ignore and distrust the deepest yearnings of our heart. Life, for the most part, teaches us to suppress our longing and live only in the external world where efficiency and performance are everything. We have learned that something else is wanted from us other than our heart, which is to say, that which is most deeply us. If we are wanted, we are often wanted for what we can offer functionally. If rich, we are honored for our wealth; if beautiful, for our looks; if intelligent, for our brains. So we learn to offer only those parts of us that are approved, living out a carefully crafted performance to gain acceptance from those who represent life to us.'' - Sacred Romance
Falling victim to striving again and again, this acknowledgement made by Eldredge is just the kick in the face I need. And it needs to be a daily beating, so to speak. Why I continue to 'punish' myself with meeting performance quotas and goals, and setting expectations that even I, upon reflection can confess, are brutal and would not expect of others, is something of a 'valley' in which I am personally walking in.
But there are days of piercing light in the deepness of the darkness where by His love, I am willed and wooed to keep on going. And this sustainance does not come by doing more. It is by knowing that I am wanted not for what I can offer or do, but for my heart and more simply, for just being me - the true me without appearance and performance depending. To 'perform' is the fastest way to exhaust your soul and dry your bones and in this valley I am learning to remember that when striving to meet expectations I am killing the beauty inside of me - what truly matters. To rest in the peace that nothing can separate me from God and that eternity with Him is certain, means that 'success' (if it happens at all) is merely an additive to my life and not the ultimate destination.
And I know I am not alone in it. We all feel it. The pressure. And just as He won't leave me here, He has come for you too. Let Him take you aside.
''But me he caught—reached all the way
from sky to sea; he pulled me out...
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!'' - 2 Samuel 22:20, The Message.
Beautiful Ben, so true.
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