Manalive!

One of me favourite quotes comes from the famous theological father, Saint Iraneus. He said, 'That the glory of God is man, fully alive!'

When I first read this sentence my heart literally leapt and connected so deeply with what he was saying. It was at a time in my life when I felt 'dead'. I had just moved to London and having no job, had a lot of free time, which was actually becoming dull and I felt far from alive. From that moment on, I felt compelled to live and give more to others as I felt up until that point of arriving in London, particularly the previous months before, I had been solely focused on myself, my finances, my dreams, my hopes, and my fears. So here I was, vowing to be a man fully alive and I so wanted to give God the glory through my life.
Since then, the importance of connecting with others and loving them has truly been revealed to me. Imparting what God has given me and been revealed is something I am learning to place of utmost importance in my daily life as I feel this truly does glorify God, His faithfulness and goodness. But it can be exhausting!

And because of this exhaustion to love others is hard sometimes, especially when you feel like you may be not even be loved yourself some days. You can left feeling, 'How can I love others when I am feeling so lonely myself?'

And this leads me to my next revelation. Being alive is not purely about being active and perfect and doing and serving and loving others and being super-hyper joyful ALL.THE.TIME - uh! That is unrealistic. It all comes back to His grace and living in that as our absolute identity. His grace was a gift through his death so that we might be alive. Yes, we have eternal life now but there is more to it!

It is here that the another depth of the St. Iraneus quote has been unveiled to me. Being alive is birthed on the inside, with the heart and knowing, truly, what has been given, accepting that gift and wearing it like a treasured necklace, daily.

'My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart for they will give you a long and satisfying life.

Never let loyalty and kindness get away from you! Wear them like a necklace; write them deep within your heart.' - Proverbs 3

Let the fuel that keeps you alive in Him and for Him, resonate from a heart that truly knows His commands and accepts His grace, for today. Not just for heaven.

Life is so much more energised, exciting and alive when you accept his Grace and wear it. It gives you the sustenance to go on, love others, serve His kingdom and do the things that we love to do.

Life is not about just the eternal. It is here and now.

 

Paris in the Summer

Just a snapshot of my European summer...

'Meet an old friend not seen for many months. We ride to old Dunkirk, a place of war time memories and friendly faces; English is rarely spoken, now French is on my lips. Arrive in old Paris and fall in love with her after our meeting for the third time. It seems the old saying rings true. Her wintry woes cannot be felt this time and I am welcomed like a favoured recurring dream. Fondness aside, her history expands beyond all time yet her beauty does not spread itself so thin. The Notre Dame it sings the hymns that once rang through it walls. The birds of the city know they cannot compare with the whistles and cheeps they produce. The darker side of Saint Germaine boasts the remaining life moments of Marie Antoinette. Her prison cell, like her, is extravagant and captures my bewildered gaze for many moments. And the Eiffel Tower on the hour it beams and pulsates amazing light like the world’s greatest discoteque, I cannot help but dance about. But it is the simpler things that I love. To see the clown faced juggler trying to earn his way upon the Metro line. And how the French only eat sweets, and it’s meant to be breakfast time. Paris, Paris, oh how I do, finally, love thee.'

The Picture

One of the biggest struggles is knowing how much the Father loves us. It is easy to acknowledge His love when all is well and happiness simply oozes from your pores. But His love is more than feelings and that churning rush within your stomach because He loves us even when we have no feeling, are completely numb and the weariness is more than we can bare.

One thing I know is true. If we choose to live in His love daily we are immortal against the failings, the dreaded and the painful.

And how do you do this?

We need to deeply and truly know how the Father sees us. My prayer is that I am given a picture of how I look to Him. How much I am adoringly pursued.

For when I come to this place, this garden of tranquility, there is nothing else that matters.

The Gift

''But even greater is God's wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ'' - Romans 5:17

I have to share what Joseph Prince spoke of at Hillsong London.
In the swoop of one sermon that so profoundly deconstructed and unveiled the deeper meaning of a well read verse to many, I find myself in awe and adamant of a heart change.

I am made in absolute perfection and ultimately righteous or made right and reconciled with God because of the beautiful sacrifice of Jesus and the gift it represents. You see, it is a gift -  not a reward. We cannot earn righteousness as one does with a reward  because then it would not be a gift. Not only that. Gifts cannot be returned to the giver and will not be taken back either. So there is absolutely nothing I can do, whether it be of the most utmost evil or greatest good, that can break this gift of reconciliation or make me more eligible to ask of it.

To live in such security in knowing it is already mine is breathtaking and almost too much to bear.
The word 'receive' in the verse is meant as daily partaking and drinking of the grace gift - for our feeble minds can so easily sway.

And I do not want to ever forget the gift I have been given.

Grace.

Eternity is now

I am just mesmerised by this latest revelation. 

Not just a nice passage from a nice book, this particular quote has reawakened my heart and pumped its valves back into beating.

Dallas Willard writes, ''Jesus offers himself as God's doorway into the life that is truly life. 

"Those who come through me will be safe," he said.

"They will go in and out and find all they need. I have come into their world that they may have life, and life to the limit.'' - The Divine Conspiracy.

In other words, eternity is not about a heavenly existence that goes on and on, singing hymns foreverafter with the cherubim and the saints! Eternal life is not about its duration but about the quality of life given to us - its goodness through Jesus and living 'life to the limit'.

And Eternity is life now. 

And that life is Him.

''In Him was life and that life was the light of man'' - John 1:4.

I want to remain with this perspective for all my days here on Earth. The source, the energy, the light, the life truly is Jesus and there is no other way! 

As a human will, I struggle to keep my eyes on the eternal promise and the life I have in Him but it has to become a priority - to be identified and assured in Him.

Sleep

Do not forget the preciousness of the quiet. The nourishment it brings. The silencing of a chattering mind which has grown to overpower the whispered words trying to get in.

It truly takes more to accept an offer of rest than to ignore it and keep ploughing on.  It is only in times of pure exhaustion that we inevitably collapse and cry out. For again we feel shamed by the failed attempt at our self-imposed expectations to be perfect and achieve those notable things, those expectations whose harshness is forged to bring us to such a place We are absolutely wrecked and feel such the wretch.

1 Kings 19

''But he went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a lone broom or juniper tree and asked that he might die. He said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life.''


But He will never leave you there.


''As he lay asleep under the broom or juniper tree, behold, an angel touched him and said to him, Arise and eat. He looked, and behold, there was a cake baked on the coals, and a bottle of water at his head. And he ate and drank and lay down again.


To take rest in the physical form is to strengthen the spiritual and a deeper understanding of how much we mean to Him can truly be felt. In quietness we are impressionable, teachable and able to receive goodness. God wants to refresh us by the hour, yet to close our eyes and sleep is something we struggle to do. 


Still He insists we rest some more.


''The angel of the Lord came the second time and touched him and said, Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.

So he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food...And behold, there came a voice to him.''

He knows our limits, our weakness and pains and does not want for us to carry the burden alone. Replenished we can actually see the truth in that and hear that whispered word, the faintest sound of love.

It is all we need. Our sustainer for the days to come.

Heart: Interrupted.

Close your eyes and breathe in deep. Exhale the type of breath that sends a shudder through your whole being; feeling the burden of the day and the performance it required from you to be lifted off your shoulders.
Stay here for a moment. Eyes remain closed. Listen. Breathe again. It is in this peace that our lives were and are meant to flow.

John Eldredge reminds us of this is in his powerful classic, the Sacred Romance. This book has been such a lifeblood for me in loneliness and pain, and has restored my aching heart many a time that I have unashamedly become somewhat of a 'heart' ambassador.

''Starting very early, life has taught all of us to ignore and distrust the deepest yearnings of our heart. Life, for the most part, teaches us to suppress our longing and live only in the external world where efficiency and performance are everything. We have learned that something else is wanted from us other than our heart, which is to say, that which is most deeply us.  If we are wanted, we are often wanted for what we can offer functionally. If rich, we are honored for our wealth; if beautiful, for our looks; if intelligent, for our brains. So we learn to offer only those parts of us that are approved, living out a carefully crafted performance to gain acceptance from those who represent life to us.'' - Sacred Romance

Falling victim to striving again and again, this acknowledgement made by Eldredge is just the kick in the face I need. And it needs to be a daily beating, so to speak. Why I continue to 'punish' myself with meeting performance quotas and goals, and setting expectations that even I, upon reflection can confess, are brutal and would not expect of others, is something of a 'valley' in which I am personally walking in.
But there are days of piercing light in the deepness of the darkness where by His love, I am willed and wooed to keep on going. And this sustainance does not come by doing more. It is by knowing that I am wanted not for what I can offer or do, but for my heart and more simply, for just being me - the true me without appearance and performance depending. To 'perform' is the fastest way to exhaust your soul and dry your bones and in this valley I am learning to remember that when striving to meet expectations I am killing the beauty inside of me - what truly matters. To rest in the peace that nothing can separate me from God and that eternity with Him is certain, means that 'success' (if it happens at all) is merely an additive to my life and not the ultimate destination.

And I know I am not alone in it. We all feel it. The pressure. And just as He won't leave me here, He has come for you too. Let Him take you aside.

''But me he caught—reached all the way
      from sky to sea; he pulled me out...
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
      I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!'' - 2 Samuel 22:20, The Message.

Let's Hear It For People

Investments have been on my made of late, and not the monetary kind entirely.
Although, yes, I am saving and thinking of the future (turning 25 this year makes it wise that I do!) I do not want to focus solely on myself, my dreams and my purposes. Despite the fact it sounds so valiant to be like this and selflessness is an admirable trait, I am learning that it is utterly exhausting to be self-consumed.

Let me explain.

Having moved to a new country I have had the excuse, with good reason, to be selfish. My thoughts the past few months have been something like this, 'Have to get that job, now that room to rent, make sure I am exercising and eating healthy, make new friends, wow- my hair needs cutting, what new books should I be reading, oh - I need to read that too...'' - and so on.

Mental exhaustion.

So in an attempt to silence the chaos, I am looking for others to 'worry' about. It is a challenge for me, as like most (I hope) it doesn't come as a natural human reflex to not put myself first. And I am not talking about feeding the homeless or tending the sick. It is on a simpler forefront than that. For me, being selfless might be staying out that little bit longer on a cold London night because a friend needs to chat even though I have an early morning gym date to sculpt those yet-to-surface abs, pressing for me for an early night.  Or simply parting with that extra £2.20 at the coffee counter, meaning your financially-burdened-university drink date can actually indulge in a much needed coffee instead of them saying 'Oh know, don't worry, I am fine thank you' -but you yourself are literally eating tinned tuna for dinner all that week. Yes - I have been there!

Whether financial, emotional, physical or spiritual, investment in people is what matters. And like the term suggests, the more people you sow into, the more likely you will reap a reward.
Having this revelation has been lifeblood to me; no longer is my existence on this Earth and my ultimate success of utmost importance. Sure - I have dreams that I can pray come to fruition but investing all my energy, money and time into just myself is simply unwise if I am to truly have a successful and fulfilled life.

By reaching unto others, you are helping those in your world, and therefore contributing to the potential achievement of their hopes and goals. By buying that university friend that coffee, you are contributing to their ultimate achievement in their season of life - graduating with a degree. It sounds simple but by investing in them you now share a small part in the celebration of their success and well, that degree is partly yours too in essence.

But the return is not the best bit.

I have found by investing in others, I have a new found energy and freedom to map out my own goals and pursue them with ease and confidence, knowing full well that I have other 'hedge funds' growing within the souls and bodies of the people to whom I have impacted and care about as I await in anticipation for the outcome.

I leave you with this.

'People in your lives  are odder than you could have believed and worth far more than you could have first guessed' - Walter Hooper.

Co-ordinates for the making

I am still learning.

How to stay reminded Grace and Love is something that needs a daily reflection.

Faith comes by diligently seeking and thus, becoming like Him.

Prayer is the honest heart's cry of a son to his Father.

To set my face like flint on the eternal.

That I am on a journey and the destination is good. And the map has been given yet the adventure and privilege is in the fact I may choose which trails to take, valleys to venture and rivers to ride along.

For the love of...

I like to drown myself. Saturate my senses until I cannot breathe. Gorge on the aesthetically pleasing and devour the beautiful and pretty things.

I cannot get enough of creation and there is so much to partake of, appreciate and see.

This week has been no exception.


The roughness of oil paint and its ability to look good, even in chaotic colour and smeared rebellion is what strikes me through the work of painter, Leonid Afremov.

I have a thing for harbours.


Musically, it is a Mr. Patrick Watson that has stolen my listening ear. Wooden Arms depicts the haunting vocals of a man that seems to be seeking unearthly things; almost not aware that he is perhaps attracting even the angels. His melodies are heavenly.







'Oh I got a feeling
And it's shaking in me now
I don't know the reason why

Oh I got a feeling
And it's burning in me bright
Burns me a hole straight through all of my heart

So I went down to the riverside
And I lay down there for hours' - Patrick Watson, Tracy's Waters.

Mr. Editorial Assistant

I do not how it happened but I am ecstatic.


I am officially an Editorial Assistant at the Financial Times. 


And to look and feel the part, I have performed the necessary research and discovered a few key items that indeed must be purchased before I commence this week.


They are.

The Tan Corduroy Suit

Vintage Briefcase

Burgundy Loafers

Essential Reading Material

fully seated, harness locked, head back, hands tightly gripped

Each day for me in London has seemed to bring a new opportunity and many obstacles along my way. 


Never taking things for granted (as I have learned how quickly things can turn around!), I now realise I have to embrace this rollercoaster-of-a-ride and knowing that the rails have been set before me and the destination is good.


I will let myself scream on the loop-the-loops and laugh with anticipation at sight of the grand climbs and deep falls of this life-long ride - knowing the excitement and risk of being a young man has placed me on this path. 


This week has been no exception and I find myself with two amazing job opportunities that I could not have imagined I would be doing if you were to suggest them to me, say, this time last year. Nor could I have orchestrated their timing or chased down the people I needed to meet in order to be offered these roles without it being pre-destined for me.


Both are fashion and publishing industry positions and have the potential to challenge and develop me immensely as a young man and business professional within an industry that sets my heart alight by the mere thought of it.


I will keep you all posted on the progression.


So here goes - fully seated, harness locked, head back, hands tightly gripped.

The Son

I love how I can also have this 'knowing' just like Jesus did.
To live as this is my daily desire and comfort.
It's my prayer.


'The divine relationship of Father to Son filled his (Jesus) human heart;
It was his secret, his joy;
A constant awareness;
A basic attitude that determined his behaviour' - A Biblical Spirituality of the Heart.







And this.


'When the son has this confidence, this security and safety created by masculine strength over him, the whole world opens before him. He is able to live as a boy - an explorer and adventurer' - John Eldredge.


Waking each day with this hope in our hearts takes courage and strength to truly believe. 
But it is the truth of how we are treasured and is far too important to forget. Ever.

With the Death of Winter

I feel like I have been reborn. Seriously. 


And it's in this city of London that has drained the life-blood of my existence these past three months through its dreary winter temperament that tends to lash out at one immediately upon leaving his cosy, centrally heated domain.


BUT. WOW. London has romanced my heart afresh and has instilled in me a sense of hope that this once scarlet-woman-of-a-town actually may have my interests at heart. Just maybe.


To start things off -  two words. CUT COPY.
The Australian lads did not disappoint as they packed the Kentish Town's Forum for a laser-lighted, smoke-laden and digitally advanced performance which just kept me smiling the whole set.


From the beginnings of Where I'm Going I immediately felt like summer and all things warm had literally come upon me. I immediately burst into a what I call the Charlie Chaplin stride where one walks in an exaggerated  motion in the same spot - it felt appropriate at the time! I wanted to grab the hand of the person next to me and pretend we were taking a stroll along Broadway Market on the pathway to London Fields. Or down Columbia Road Flower Market enveloped in the humming of the French jazz group that so often serenades that fragrantly colourful lane.
The rest of the performance could have been awful after that point for all cared as I was already decided the night was good one.


BUT it got even better with Lights and Music and Hearts on Fire.


Thank you Cut Copy for bringing the spring to London.


So I awoke the next morning and waving her white flag of surrender was the London winter. The sun was beaming sweet rays of goodness; the birds singing songs of laughter. It was a dream and all the people walking by me on the street were experiencing the same sleep.


To celebrate, Emma and I decided to pay tribute to London and visit one of her museums - The London Street Photography Exhibit.


While small, the photographs were mesmerising with the two of us in visual awe of how impeccably dressed many of the common Londoners were. Something that has been devastatingly lost.


Some of my favourites.

May the warmth prosper...

As a king would be

Something inside of me lately has risen up. 


It is the longing to be like a king. 


Not in the sense of the word where I am to rule and reign over all, but as a man who takes control of his kingdom and sees it flourish. A king like David. 

A king is the ruler of his God-given kingdom and it is here that he is a watcher of those in weakness, a protector for those in persecution, and a supplier of goodness for those needing refreshment. A king knows his dominion and its perimeters; he loves his people. 
He will wage war when the walls of the castle are under siege.
He will allow times of festivity and celebration, bestowing blessing and generosity upon those ready to receive. A king like Jesus.

The king has the authority to converse personally with his God. 
Every hour of every day spent listening in eager anticipation to the voice of Him whose fathering heart has brought the king thus far. 


The king knows the part he must play and knows the Father will never forsake him.

'The King's heart is like a stream of water directed by the Lord;

He guides it wherever he pleases.' - Proverbs 21:1

The Dawning of the Great Light

'There will be no more gloom for those who were in distress
For the people walking in the darkness have seen a great light;
On those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.
You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy;
They rejoice at the harvest as men rejoice when dividing the plunder.
For as in the day of Midian's defeat, you have shattered the yoke that burdens them,
The bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor.
Every warrior's boot used in battle and every garment rolled in blood will be destined for burning,
Will be fuel for the fire.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given.

And the government  will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace
And there will be no end.'

Isaiah 9:2-7

This is why we celebrate Christmas - for no other reason, purpose or person.
I don't ever want to forget what was given to me.

Lilith

Travelling abroad has meant I have had many hours of waiting in transit at airports and passing time on the plane itself. I have a fascination with books and find myself side-tracked just by the mere sight of a bookstore and I absolutely must walk in, even just for a quick browse. Books hold so much within them and if you find a good one, it can be like making a new friend. This also makes it hard when you turn that last page and realise your acquaintance must come to an end.

                                          Lilith is one of these such friends.

Having reached the end of an epic ethereal journey along side the cleverly named character, Mr Vane, I was consequently guided to read this line of text on the last page.

''Man dreams and desires; God broods and wills and quickens. When a man dreams his own dream he is the sport of his dream;

When Another gives it him, that Other is able to fulfil it''.

I cannot tell you how deeply this statement penetrated my heart, but it was in there! Sometimes the simplest words can speak so profoundly and they can come through many vessels that seem so unexpected.

Lilith - George MacDonald

I immediately felt released from striving and having to decide exactly what my dreams are and foretelling how I am going to make them happen. By just being, abiding and living in His presence I am promised a dream to be given to me as I take a deep breath, listen and wait. It's almost like a gift, and the burden of it is free and easy. And as a bonus, it will be something that brings true happines!

 All I can say is I am excited to unwrap this gift and see what it is.

Little Britain

This week saw me venture into the western English heartlands - Gloucestershire. I was to finally meet some extended family on my dad's side who I came to hear of from my Great Uncle, Sid, and it was arranged through a few sporadic phone calls that I would stay with my distant cousin Sue and her family within the small village of Upton St. Leonards.

Sue and her husband, Nigel, were so welcoming considering I was this strange young man from a distant land that they had only read about in books, and my four days within their care was such a special glimpse into the life of 'Little Britain'.

Thatched Roof

This village I was seeing was like no other town I had seen. It felt as though it was another time zone with the Old English architecture and thatched-roofed homes, blowing a constant display of silvery smoke from their brick-based chimneys. I found myself humming the theme song to 'Heartbeat' as I was enevoloped by the scenery. Shetland ponies and horses grazed unending pastures and vegetable alotments were observed at every turn.

The flaming orange of the autumn leaves and the darkening wood of their host gave life to the cool green of the distant hills. As we walked the inner, outer and even greater roads of Upton St. Leonards for more than two hours one afternoon, I discovered Nigel's talent for recalling the elements of the village life history and other interesting pieces of information including how Liz Hurley's farm was situated nearby and  how his mate Terry  managed  to 'build this house here with his own bare hands' - which I thought was an impressive achievement!

 Another interesting fact to be pointed out was that the owner of the Kraft food company lived in this village and being an Australian and a lover of all things Vegemite, I captured this piece of gold on film.

                                           
                                           Mr. Kraft's House



But looking beyond the 'fame' of the village inhabitants and the inconceivable greenery that lavished itself on my eyes, I was most blown away by the fact that Nigel could walk past each of the village residence and comment aloud to the effect of
'Oh, there's Tony reading the paper at his breakfast table. He'll do that all day, he will!'.

And the frequent verbal melody of
'Good Morning, You alright then?' to each passerby, addressing the individual on a first name basis, but never stopping long enough to have a proper chat.
This neighbourhood familiarity was something I found remarkable and came to learn how normal it was to the people of Upton St. Leonards.

                                            Little Cottage

Chatting with Sue provided an even deeper scope into village life and how her and her best friend, Rose, have been apart of each other's daily lives for over thirty years! Both Sue and Rose are avid Skittles players and I was able to witness a Tuesday night match of brutality and force as these middle-aged women hammered down the line these rusted metallic bowling bowls in the hope of obliterated the 9 wooden pins at the opposite end. It was loud but good fun to watch and proved a good excuse for friends to meet and gossip about the previous week.

This sort of lifelong comradery was a common theme here and I soon came to understand that no-one really appears to leave Gloucestershire if born and raised here.

The men, including Nigel, meet religiously every single night for several pints and games of pool at their local club next to the grand old sandstone church, and my first night's stay saw that I got to experience this ritual first hand. It was this night at the club, to all of Gloucester's disbelief, I had to disclose my lack of taste appreciation for beer or ale. However, Nigel's generosity insisted I was well taken care of in regards to other drink alternatives (I have never drunk so much diet pepsi in one night) and the warmth and acceptance I received from the club made my first night really welcoming. After a few pints, the banter between these good mates had a habit of escalating, peaking until someone went too far with the joke and then subsided again with a chorus of laughter once more. This pattern of verbal cross-fire would continue for hours until 'Last Drinks' was called around 11:30pm by Jackie from behind the bar.

The mood was always light-hearted but as Nigel disclosed to me in his under-the-influence state walking home that night, each man knew the life trials and victories of the other and would clearly give up their own most treasured possession (probably beer!) to help their mate.

                                           Gloucester Cathedral

Other highlights of the trip was the visit into town to see the Gloucester Cathedral where many kings and queens and valiant knights were laid to rest. Another personal touch for me was to discover Gloucester's connection to the author Beatrix Potter. Her complete works edition was given to me by mum when I was young and seeing her gift shop reawakened my remembrance of the joy of reading her tales and how I used to imagine I was actually Benjamin Bunny - but a little less mischievous!

Since visiting the shire, I have also developed a new found addiction to add to my many others - Carvery buffets! These consist of all-you-can-eat roast turkey, gammon and beef as well as over a dozen different vegetable dishes including sweet potato mash, creamed cauliflower, roast onion and potatoes, carrots, beans and peas and with the option of every gravy imaginable or the more fancy cranberry, apple, mint, wine and cream sauces. And the best part, it only cost 5 pounds or as they say it here, 'a Fiver'.
Eat up, I say!

                                          The First Serving


Like the food, the people here were extremely warm and homely and my breakaway from the high expectations and striving atmosphere of London was something that was needed as an outlet to re-fuel and re-collect myself.

Sue and Nigel have insisted I come back next year just in time for the 'Rolling of the Cheese' festival.
So I told them my love for cheese and curiousity as to what 'Rolling' might entail, may just make that possible!

I Just Need A Diary

Picture this. Boy sitting at computer eagerly eating breakfast omelette as he prepares to meet his friend Alex for a bit of winter boot shopping. Boy then glances to the right hand side corner of his computer screen and sees '19/10/2010'.


No. He thinks. Oh no. He thinks again. Oh, Please God, no!


But yes. Oh yes!


Boy has missed his flight to Hamburg thinking today's date was in fact the 18th.


One ' whole new flight, an amended return flight and amended hotel booking' later, all is well except a few Euros down the drain. Blah! 


In light of this happening, I made an oath to buy a diary today.


But. 


This is what I arrived home with.

These Killers.

The joy set before us

It is finished. The last sentence has been read and the final page has been turned. Why is it that we sometimes feel a little lost after pouring over the last words of a much loved book? Especially, one of life-changing content.

Today, within the walls of my darling Sable D'or cafe, I finished the book, the Sacred Romance. It happened so deceivingly due to the large amount of 'nothing pages' at the back consisting of promotional material for other books and a bibliography that owns all others - I thought I had atleast another few days of reading pleasure.

But it is not really over.

Now that I have absorbed and allowed my heart to breathe in the sweetness of beautiful revelation I am determine for the veil to remain lifted and do promise to never forget.

I love how God truly knows us more then we even know ourselves. He knows that after our hearts acknowledge a desire to change or acknowledge the longing to give ourselves even more over to Him, we can simply forget what we have learnt. This scripture is for those too sway-minded like myself.

''Only be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart'' - Deuteronomy 4:9.

So brilliant.

Even the poetic George MacDonald of the year 1880 was fully aware how fleetingly we can separate ourselves from the revelation of the all the joy set before us, as expressed in his Diary of An Old Soul.

In an act of boldness and utter desperation to retain the passion he has for the future and the journey ahead, he confidently cries out to God.

''Were there but some deep, holy spell, whereby

Always  I should remember thee...

Lord, see thou to it, take thou remembrance's load:

Only when I bethink me can I cry;

Remember thou, and prick with love's goad.

When I can no more stir my soul to move,

And life is but the ashes of a fire;

When I can but remember that my heart

Once used to live and love, long and aspire - 

Oh, be thou then the first, the one thou art;

Be thou the calling, before all answering love,

And in me wake, fear, boundless desire''

Like what John Eldridge says in the Sacred Romance that the final burden of remembering all the glimpses of God's beauty, His love for us and the joy set before us, does not rest on us.

Jesus is the 'Author and Perfector of our faith' (Hebrews 12:2).

He placed the desires for romance in our hearts, and compelled us to take this journey and even when we take a side road for the short or long seasons,  he has bound himself to see us through.
He even gives us reminders along the journey's way through ''unwrapped gifts and free surprises'' (Anne Dillard) whether they be in the form of a touching song, a beautiful art work, or the re-acquaintance with a smell that evokes a loving childhood moment.

As I continue to journey, I am sure to share my 'gifts' given to me along the way.