Manalive!

One of me favourite quotes comes from the famous theological father, Saint Iraneus. He said, 'That the glory of God is man, fully alive!'

When I first read this sentence my heart literally leapt and connected so deeply with what he was saying. It was at a time in my life when I felt 'dead'. I had just moved to London and having no job, had a lot of free time, which was actually becoming dull and I felt far from alive. From that moment on, I felt compelled to live and give more to others as I felt up until that point of arriving in London, particularly the previous months before, I had been solely focused on myself, my finances, my dreams, my hopes, and my fears. So here I was, vowing to be a man fully alive and I so wanted to give God the glory through my life.
Since then, the importance of connecting with others and loving them has truly been revealed to me. Imparting what God has given me and been revealed is something I am learning to place of utmost importance in my daily life as I feel this truly does glorify God, His faithfulness and goodness. But it can be exhausting!

And because of this exhaustion to love others is hard sometimes, especially when you feel like you may be not even be loved yourself some days. You can left feeling, 'How can I love others when I am feeling so lonely myself?'

And this leads me to my next revelation. Being alive is not purely about being active and perfect and doing and serving and loving others and being super-hyper joyful ALL.THE.TIME - uh! That is unrealistic. It all comes back to His grace and living in that as our absolute identity. His grace was a gift through his death so that we might be alive. Yes, we have eternal life now but there is more to it!

It is here that the another depth of the St. Iraneus quote has been unveiled to me. Being alive is birthed on the inside, with the heart and knowing, truly, what has been given, accepting that gift and wearing it like a treasured necklace, daily.

'My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart for they will give you a long and satisfying life.

Never let loyalty and kindness get away from you! Wear them like a necklace; write them deep within your heart.' - Proverbs 3

Let the fuel that keeps you alive in Him and for Him, resonate from a heart that truly knows His commands and accepts His grace, for today. Not just for heaven.

Life is so much more energised, exciting and alive when you accept his Grace and wear it. It gives you the sustenance to go on, love others, serve His kingdom and do the things that we love to do.

Life is not about just the eternal. It is here and now.

 

Paris in the Summer

Just a snapshot of my European summer...

'Meet an old friend not seen for many months. We ride to old Dunkirk, a place of war time memories and friendly faces; English is rarely spoken, now French is on my lips. Arrive in old Paris and fall in love with her after our meeting for the third time. It seems the old saying rings true. Her wintry woes cannot be felt this time and I am welcomed like a favoured recurring dream. Fondness aside, her history expands beyond all time yet her beauty does not spread itself so thin. The Notre Dame it sings the hymns that once rang through it walls. The birds of the city know they cannot compare with the whistles and cheeps they produce. The darker side of Saint Germaine boasts the remaining life moments of Marie Antoinette. Her prison cell, like her, is extravagant and captures my bewildered gaze for many moments. And the Eiffel Tower on the hour it beams and pulsates amazing light like the world’s greatest discoteque, I cannot help but dance about. But it is the simpler things that I love. To see the clown faced juggler trying to earn his way upon the Metro line. And how the French only eat sweets, and it’s meant to be breakfast time. Paris, Paris, oh how I do, finally, love thee.'

The Picture

One of the biggest struggles is knowing how much the Father loves us. It is easy to acknowledge His love when all is well and happiness simply oozes from your pores. But His love is more than feelings and that churning rush within your stomach because He loves us even when we have no feeling, are completely numb and the weariness is more than we can bare.

One thing I know is true. If we choose to live in His love daily we are immortal against the failings, the dreaded and the painful.

And how do you do this?

We need to deeply and truly know how the Father sees us. My prayer is that I am given a picture of how I look to Him. How much I am adoringly pursued.

For when I come to this place, this garden of tranquility, there is nothing else that matters.

The Gift

''But even greater is God's wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ'' - Romans 5:17

I have to share what Joseph Prince spoke of at Hillsong London.
In the swoop of one sermon that so profoundly deconstructed and unveiled the deeper meaning of a well read verse to many, I find myself in awe and adamant of a heart change.

I am made in absolute perfection and ultimately righteous or made right and reconciled with God because of the beautiful sacrifice of Jesus and the gift it represents. You see, it is a gift -  not a reward. We cannot earn righteousness as one does with a reward  because then it would not be a gift. Not only that. Gifts cannot be returned to the giver and will not be taken back either. So there is absolutely nothing I can do, whether it be of the most utmost evil or greatest good, that can break this gift of reconciliation or make me more eligible to ask of it.

To live in such security in knowing it is already mine is breathtaking and almost too much to bear.
The word 'receive' in the verse is meant as daily partaking and drinking of the grace gift - for our feeble minds can so easily sway.

And I do not want to ever forget the gift I have been given.

Grace.

Eternity is now

I am just mesmerised by this latest revelation. 

Not just a nice passage from a nice book, this particular quote has reawakened my heart and pumped its valves back into beating.

Dallas Willard writes, ''Jesus offers himself as God's doorway into the life that is truly life. 

"Those who come through me will be safe," he said.

"They will go in and out and find all they need. I have come into their world that they may have life, and life to the limit.'' - The Divine Conspiracy.

In other words, eternity is not about a heavenly existence that goes on and on, singing hymns foreverafter with the cherubim and the saints! Eternal life is not about its duration but about the quality of life given to us - its goodness through Jesus and living 'life to the limit'.

And Eternity is life now. 

And that life is Him.

''In Him was life and that life was the light of man'' - John 1:4.

I want to remain with this perspective for all my days here on Earth. The source, the energy, the light, the life truly is Jesus and there is no other way! 

As a human will, I struggle to keep my eyes on the eternal promise and the life I have in Him but it has to become a priority - to be identified and assured in Him.

Sleep

Do not forget the preciousness of the quiet. The nourishment it brings. The silencing of a chattering mind which has grown to overpower the whispered words trying to get in.

It truly takes more to accept an offer of rest than to ignore it and keep ploughing on.  It is only in times of pure exhaustion that we inevitably collapse and cry out. For again we feel shamed by the failed attempt at our self-imposed expectations to be perfect and achieve those notable things, those expectations whose harshness is forged to bring us to such a place We are absolutely wrecked and feel such the wretch.

1 Kings 19

''But he went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a lone broom or juniper tree and asked that he might die. He said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life.''


But He will never leave you there.


''As he lay asleep under the broom or juniper tree, behold, an angel touched him and said to him, Arise and eat. He looked, and behold, there was a cake baked on the coals, and a bottle of water at his head. And he ate and drank and lay down again.


To take rest in the physical form is to strengthen the spiritual and a deeper understanding of how much we mean to Him can truly be felt. In quietness we are impressionable, teachable and able to receive goodness. God wants to refresh us by the hour, yet to close our eyes and sleep is something we struggle to do. 


Still He insists we rest some more.


''The angel of the Lord came the second time and touched him and said, Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.

So he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food...And behold, there came a voice to him.''

He knows our limits, our weakness and pains and does not want for us to carry the burden alone. Replenished we can actually see the truth in that and hear that whispered word, the faintest sound of love.

It is all we need. Our sustainer for the days to come.

Heart: Interrupted.

Close your eyes and breathe in deep. Exhale the type of breath that sends a shudder through your whole being; feeling the burden of the day and the performance it required from you to be lifted off your shoulders.
Stay here for a moment. Eyes remain closed. Listen. Breathe again. It is in this peace that our lives were and are meant to flow.

John Eldredge reminds us of this is in his powerful classic, the Sacred Romance. This book has been such a lifeblood for me in loneliness and pain, and has restored my aching heart many a time that I have unashamedly become somewhat of a 'heart' ambassador.

''Starting very early, life has taught all of us to ignore and distrust the deepest yearnings of our heart. Life, for the most part, teaches us to suppress our longing and live only in the external world where efficiency and performance are everything. We have learned that something else is wanted from us other than our heart, which is to say, that which is most deeply us.  If we are wanted, we are often wanted for what we can offer functionally. If rich, we are honored for our wealth; if beautiful, for our looks; if intelligent, for our brains. So we learn to offer only those parts of us that are approved, living out a carefully crafted performance to gain acceptance from those who represent life to us.'' - Sacred Romance

Falling victim to striving again and again, this acknowledgement made by Eldredge is just the kick in the face I need. And it needs to be a daily beating, so to speak. Why I continue to 'punish' myself with meeting performance quotas and goals, and setting expectations that even I, upon reflection can confess, are brutal and would not expect of others, is something of a 'valley' in which I am personally walking in.
But there are days of piercing light in the deepness of the darkness where by His love, I am willed and wooed to keep on going. And this sustainance does not come by doing more. It is by knowing that I am wanted not for what I can offer or do, but for my heart and more simply, for just being me - the true me without appearance and performance depending. To 'perform' is the fastest way to exhaust your soul and dry your bones and in this valley I am learning to remember that when striving to meet expectations I am killing the beauty inside of me - what truly matters. To rest in the peace that nothing can separate me from God and that eternity with Him is certain, means that 'success' (if it happens at all) is merely an additive to my life and not the ultimate destination.

And I know I am not alone in it. We all feel it. The pressure. And just as He won't leave me here, He has come for you too. Let Him take you aside.

''But me he caught—reached all the way
      from sky to sea; he pulled me out...
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
      I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!'' - 2 Samuel 22:20, The Message.